zig zag mama, zigzagmama.com, erinjbernard

Sometimes you just need a moment…

• In the gym sauna (no reception, and it’s too dark for anyone to notice that my lactating boobs are lopsided by three cup sizes).

• In the shower or bath (I buy time by telling my husband that hot water running on my boobs is good for lactation).

• Right behind her or beside her when Papa’s holding her (babies have shitty peripheral vision).

• In my car, where I enjoy spirited one-way debates with NPR hosts and their guests whilst deriving a pleasant sense of solemn accomplishment from arranging the pennies, nickels and quarters in the built-in change dispenser.

• Under the bed covers. Though we bedshare, and I’m terrified to pull the comforter up higher than my waist for fear of smothering, so this one’s usually a fail.

• Out by the recycling, compost and garbage bins in our back yard. Come July, it smells like rotten tofu left to marinade in a dead raccoon’s ass back there, but it’s oh so very peaceful.

• In the basement, “organizing” the giant bins of shit — I mean baby gear — handed down to us by friends and family.


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About erinjbernard

I'm a lifestyle content writer, editor and photographer based in Portland and girlmom to Baby G.


Babies, Humor